Great Expectations: Pamela @ 38 weeks

Words to describe this stage in pregnancy: Uncomfortable. Waddle. Sleepless. Cranky. Blessed.

Being 38 weeks pregnant with two little children to care for as well as the holidays to deal with has been overwhelming, but at the same time it's a blessing to make it this far into a pregnancy when I know a lot of women who were unable to make it this far for a variety of reasons. Despite the sleepless nights (which I truly believe are preparing me for newborn hours) and a very sore body, I am trying my hardest to enjoy these final days of pregnancy. At this point in our lives and our family, we are not planning on having any more children so the thought of these being my final days of ever being pregnant, of feeling a life inside me and knowing the miracle it has been to get him here, are important for me to cherish.

I am less fearful of the process of childbirth after meditating on my last birth and watching some beautiful natural births online through the Peaceful Birth Project. Today I met a woman who was served by my same midwife for both of her births. In her second birth, her labor started and stopped multiple times, enough that my midwife had come and set up her supplies each time. When her daughter was finally born she was born with her cord wrapped around her neck, arm, and torso. My midwife's response to the birth was that the baby was just doing what she had to do to come out safely. This phrase is so profound because my midwife truly believes in the power of a woman's body as well as trusts in the process of birth and babies. While she monitors and makes sure everyone is safe and healthy, she does so without undermining the power of a woman's body. Knowing my midwife has my back makes a world of difference for me and feeling prepared to go into labor. I only wish that all pregnant women can feel this supported.

Selfishly, today I got excited thinking that within weeks I'll hopefully be able to fit into something non-maternity, even if it may not be pretty. I also got excited about not having to track everything I eat, even though I plan on maintaining my similar diet post-pregnancy because of how good it has made me feel. What are another two to four weeks of pregnant bliss after 38 weeks? It is funny, too, seeing the look on people's faces when they ask when I'm due and I say, any time now, and they don't know how to respond to me. Some people back away, some people want to offer me a chair. Often times lately I've been getting the empathizing look from other women who know just how uncomfortable it is to be 38 weeks pregnant.

Birth supplies are stacked in boxes in my living room, essential oils for birth and postpartum are ordered, and my birth pool is literally in front of me waiting to be assembled. After this, almost everything on my to-do list is done and we will be on cruise control waiting for this little peanut to make his grand entrance. With any luck, my 40 week update will be an announcement of his arrival. To everyone also in their final weeks of pregnancy, how are you keeping distracted from the biggest test of patience of your life?

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